Bloopers!
by Rainbow Lagoon
Summary: The title says it all.
1. Percy and Annabeth

"Thalia I'm just saying…why do you always blame the guys for things?" I asked as my assistant closed the door to Thalia's office behind me. Thalia was sitting in front of her computer, which was hooked up to a flat screen T.V. behind her.

"First off all, I'm a Hunter I'm supposed to hate boys. Second, have a seat, Percy." She said sternly.

I sat.

"I'm not just blaming you. I'm blaming the men. Percy you boys need to focus more. You keep messing up too much."

I stared at her. "What?"

She sighed. "Watch."

She clicked on a file marked 'Percy Jackson Mess Ups'

* * *

><p><span>The Lightning Thief<span>

_Gabe: Maybe if you hurry with that seven-layer dip…And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game._

_Percy: I'm *Giggle* I'm sorry—HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

_Gabe: *Grins* Look kid I can't be scary if you're laughing at me._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters<span>

_Annabeth: You guys DON'T eat or drink anything._

_Percy: *Is chewing* Mmmmm…These chocolates are yummy._

_Annabeth: PERCY! What did I just tell you?_

_Percy: I'm sorry! They looked so delicious._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Titan's Curse<span>

_Percy: I have to help her. I've been having these dreams._

_Aphrodite: You even dream about her! That's SO CUTE!_

_Percy: Lady, you have some serious issues. Maybe you should go see a doctor or—_

_*Aphrodite laughs*_

_Percy: What? Oh…that wasn't my line was it?_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth<span>

_Percy: Put your cap back on. Get out!_

_Annabeth: What? No! I'm not leaving you._

_Percy: I've got a plan. I'll distract them. You can use the metal spider—maybe it'll lead you back to Hephaestus. You have to tell him what's going on._

_Annabeth: But you'll be killed!_

_Percy: I'll be fine. Besides we've got no choice._

_Annabeth: *Glares at Percy*_

((((((Five Seconds Later))))))

_Percy: ARE YOU GONNA KISS ME OR NOT?_

_Annabeth: *Laughs*_

_Percy: I mean, seriously. You're just sitting there staring at me!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><strong>The Last Olympian<strong>

_Annabeth: Hello William._

_Percy: Billy Bob Joe Twinkletin._

_Annabeth: Billy Bob…wait a second—PERCY!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p>"See? You mess up too much." She concluded.<p>

"I can't believe you took the time to make that." I snorted.

"Well, it wasn't hard since most of the guys usually mess up." She snapped.

"Well, what about that one?" I asked. "Click on Annabeth's."

"No we are here to talk about you not—HEY GIVE IT!" She screeched as I stole the mouse from her. I clicked the file marked 'Annabeth Chase Mess Ups'

* * *

><p><span>The Lightning Thief <span>

_Annabeth: I've got training to do. Dinner is at seven thirty. Just follow your cabin to the mess hall._

_Percy: Annabeth, I'm sorry about the toilets._

_Annabeth: YOU SHOULD BE! YOU RUINED MY FAVORITE CAMP HALF-BLOOD TOP!_

_Percy: Uhh…Annabeth, you have ten more in the trailer…_

_Annabeth: Oh yeah…Wait are we still filming?_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters<span>

_Tyson: I will miss you, Rainbow._

_Percy: Maybe we'll see him again sometime._

_Annabeth: IT'S A FRIGGIN' UNICORN! GET. OVER. IT!_

_Percy: You are so cruel._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Titan's Curse<span>

_Annabeth: So, What did you want to tell me earlier before we were so rudely interrupted by the gods asking Thalia to join the hunt?_

_Percy: *Smiles*_

_Annabeth: Wrong line?_

_Percy: Yuppers._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth<span>

_Annabeth: STOP! This is an insult to children of Athena everywhere…and…that's not my line is it?_

_Grover: Nope._

_Percy: You sound like a motivational speaker._

_Tyson: What?_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Last Olympian<span>

_Percy: What are they fighting about, anyway?_

_Annabeth: *Scribbles on her inspection scroll*_

_Percy: *Stares at her*_

_Annabeth: *Tries not to laugh*_

_Percy: *Still stares at her*_

_Annabeth: *Bursts out laughing* I'm sorry…I…hahahahaha. Okay…I'm better now._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p>"See? It's not only the guys!" said crossing my arms.<p>

"Oh yeah?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, why don't we check Grover's mess ups."

_Click._

* * *

><p><strong>Rain~*<strong>


	2. Grover and Tyson

"Oh yeah? Well, why don't check Grover's mess ups."

_Click._

* * *

><p><span>The Lightning Thief<span>

_Percy: Um…what ARE you exactly?_

_Grover: That doesn't matter right now._

_Percy: It doesn't matter? From the waist down my best friend is a donkey—_

_Grover: Bla-ha-ha! GHOST! Wait…I MEAN GOAT! GOAT!_

_*Percy and Sally laugh*_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters<span>

_Cyclopes: Alright, but hurry. I want to SEEEEEE under that veil, heh-heh-heh._

_Grover: Whoa there, big guy. I don't play like that._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Titan's Curse<span>

_Thalia: Tell Percy to get his butt downstairs._

_Percy: Why?_

_Thalia: Did he say something?_

_Grover: *Is asleep* Z_

_Thalia and Percy: GROVER!_

_Grover: Whaaaa? _

_Thalia: YOU FELL ASLEEP!_

_Grover: Well, I'm sorry, but I'd like to see YOU carry that thing without passing out. She is HEAVY!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth<span>

_Grover: I have to leave. Juniper's waiting for me. It's a good thing she finds cows attractive…_

_Percy: …Uuuuh?_

_Grover: I MEANT COWARDS!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Last Olympian<span>

_Annabeth: You tried to tell me. Luke is no good. I didn't believe you until…until I heard how he'd used Silena. Now I know. I hope you're happy._

_Percy: That doesn't make me-_

_Grover: Well…sure good to be together again. Arguing. Almost dying. Abject terror. Oh, look. It's our floor._

_*Percy and Annabeth stare at him*_

_Grover: *Facepalms* Timing, Grover, TIMING! _

* * *

><p><em>Click.<em>

"If you still don't believe me, I can show you Tyson's mess ups." She said crossing her arms.

"Well, what about…" I sighed. "Fine."

She smirked as she clicked on the file marked 'Tyson Mess Ups'

* * *

><p><span>The Lightning Thief<span>

_Sally: Don't say his name! Names have power!_

_Grover: Food?_

_Percy: Sssssssh. Mom what's he doing? Doesn't he see us?_

_Tyson: *Walks up to Percy eating peanut butter* Hello._

_Percy: TYSON! You aren't in this book!_

_Tyson: I'm not?_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters<span>

_Percy: It's a ghost ship._

_Tyson: No. Bad smell._

_Annabeth: I don't smell anything._

_Percy: Cyclopes are like satyrs. They can smell monsters. Isn't that right, Tyson?_

_Tyson: …_

_Percy: …Tyson?_

_Annabeth: HE FELL ASLEEP!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Titan's Curse<span>

_Tyson: YAY! That means it was good! It saved your life!_

_Percy: It sure did, big guy. But now it's ruined._

_Tyson: Not ruined. I will visit and fix it next…next…uuuuuuuhhh._

_Percy: SUMMER!_

_Tyson: What?_

_Percy: Your line is: 'I will visit and fix it next summer!'_

_Tyson: Oh. *Laughs* Sorry._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth<span>

_Poseidon: There you are, my boy. And Tyson, hello, son!"_

_Tyson: *Runs towards Poseidon* DADDY!_

_Poseidon: NO! TYSON—_

_Tyson: *Jumps on top of him and knocks him over*_

_Poseidon: *Falls over*_

_Tyson: Too rough?_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Last Olympian<span>

_Tyson *His mouth is filled with peanut butter* PUH-POBIBON! _

_*Gets peanut butter on some of the other cyclopes*_

_Cyclopes #1: HEY!_

_Tyson: *Mouth still filled with peanut butter* Porry._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p>"See?" Thalia smirked.<p>

"Give me that mouse." I said as I snatched it from her.

"PERSEUS JACKSON GIVE ME THE MOUSE NOW!" She screamed. Before she had a chance to snatch it back I clicked on the file marked 'Thalia Grace Mess Ups.'

* * *

><p><strong>Rain~*<strong>


	3. Thalia and Nico

_Before she had a chance to snatch it back, I clicked on the file marked 'Thalia's Mess Ups'_

* * *

><p><span>The Lightning Thief<span>

_Thalia: *In a straitjacket* Well, Seaweed Brain? One of us has to…*Looks at Percy* HAHAHAHA! I'm sorry. I'm sorry!_

_Percy: *Also in a straitjacket and is laughing* What did I do?_

_Thalia: You…your face…HAHAHAHAHA!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters<span>

_Thalia: Who—_

_Percy: I'm Percy. You're safe now._

_Thalia: I am? BECAUSE TEN SECONDS AGO I WAS DYING! YOU CALL THAT **SAFE**?_

_Percy: Uuuuh…_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Titan's Curse<span>

_Thalia: We've got your back. *Picks a clump of fuzz from Percy's shirt* Eww. On second thought…I don't want your—OH MY GOD THE FUZZ MOVED!_

_*Grover and Zoë move away*_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth<span>

_Annabeth: *Is about to kiss Percy*_

_Thalia: *Jumps out from behind them* WHAT ARE YOU DOING!_

_Annabeth: AAAAAAAAAHHH!_

_Percy: *Blushes* IT WASN'T MY FAULT!_

_Annabeth: I have weird friends… _

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Last Olympian<span>

_Thalia: I survive all those battles, and I get defeated by a stupid piece of rock!_

_Director: It's stupid **chunk** of rock._

_Thalia: OH! SORRY!_

_Director: CUT!_

**Take Two**

_Thalia: I survive all those battles, and I get defeated by a stupid piece of rock._

_Percy: CHUNK of rock, Thalia. CHUNK!_

_Thalia: Dang it!_

_Director: CUT!_

**Take Three**

_Thalia: I survive all those battles, and I get defeated by a stupid piece of rock._

_Annabeth: Thalia…_

_Thalia: What?_

_Annabeth: Wrong line…_

_Thalia: ARRRRGGGGHHH!_

**Take Four**

_Thalia: I survive all those battles, and I get defeated by a stupid hunk of rock!_

_Grover: CHUNK!_

_Thalia: SO CLOSE!_

_Director: CUT!_

**Take Five**

Thalia: I survive all those battles, and I get defeated by a…a…LINE?

Percy, Grover, and Annabeth: CHUNK!

_Director: CUT!_

**Take Thirty-Five**

_Thalia: I survive all those battles and I get defeated by a stupid chunk of rock._

_Director: And…SCENE!_

_Thalia: I DID IT! *Gets up from under rock and starts dancing* I SAID MY LINE!_

_Annabeth: *Laughs*_

_Grover: It's a miracle!_

_Percy: THANK YOU, FATES!_

_Thalia: -_-_

* * *

><p>"Would you look at that? Even little Miss Perfect messes up sometimes." I said satisfied.<p>

Thalia snatched the mouse from me. "OH YEAH? WELL WHAT ABOUT NICO?"

Before I had a chance to protest, she clicked the file marked 'Nico di Angelo Mess Ups'

* * *

><p><span>The Lightning Thief<span>

_*At the Lotus Casino*_

_Annabeth: So? Can you imagine a better place?_

_Percy: *Grabs her and yanks her away from the game*_

_Annabeth: HEY! *Hits Percy*_

_Nico: DON'T FALL FOR IT! IT'S A TRAP! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEE!_

_Percy: Nico?_

_Nico: Yeah?_

_Percy: Please leave._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters<span>

_Percy: __That shadow I saw this morning-that was-OH MY GODS YOU WERE LOOKING THROUGH MY BEDROOM WINDOW!_

_Annabeth: There's no time to-_

_Nico: Oooooo, Annie was checking out Percy's abs..._

_Annabeth: SHUT UP NICO! YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Titan's Curse<span>

_Percy: Big collection._

_Nico: I've got almost all of them, plus their-THALIA STOP STARING AT ME!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth<span>

*After Seeing Kronos Rise*

_Nico: Well, that ksjfskjhdfs...Sorry..._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Last Olympian<span>

_Nico: *Runs towards Percy and Annabeth* It's Rachel. I just ran into her on 32nd Street._

_Annabeth: What's she done this time?_

_Nico:_ _I told her she would *Pant* __die if she *Pant* tried, but she *Pant* insisted. She- oh my god that was a long run...can I take five?_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p>"Well, what about...uuuuhhh..." I said trying to think of any other girls.<p>

"While you think of someone _I _want to take a look at some of Luke's bloopers.

_Click._

* * *

><p><strong>Rain~*<strong>


	4. Luke and Clarisse

_"While you think of someone **I** want to take a look at some of Luke's bloopers."_

_Click._

* * *

><p><span>The Lightning Thief<span>

_Percy: You're as crazy as Ares!_

_Luke: Ares is a fool. He never realized the true master he was serving. If I had time, Percy, I could explain. But I'm afraid you won't live that long - OUCH!_

_Percy: What happened?_

_Luke: THE SCORPION BIT ME!_

_Percy: Uuuh...Can we get an ambulance over here?_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters<span>

_Luke: The gods are SO using you. Don't you have any idea what's in store for you if...if...I messed that line up didn't I?_

_Percy: Yup._

_Annabeth: Uh-huh._

_Tyson: *Nods*_

_Luke: ...Well, is the camera still rolling?_

_Camera Man: Uh, yeah._

_Luke: Okay good. I have something I need to say. It's really personal, and it's really made an impact on my life. So I just wanted to let you know...I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT! _

_*'I'm Sexy and I Know It' Starts Playing*_

_Percy: WHAT THE HECK?_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Titan's Curse<span>

_Luke: Thalia, call the Ophio...ophi...um...OPHIOTA- Oh I give up. Can I see the line again?_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth<span>

_Luke: Nice job, Percy. You've gotten better with the sword I'll give you- *Drops sword* Craaaaaaap._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Last Olympian<span>

_Grover: We can get ambrosia. We can-_

_Luke: Grover, you're the bravest satyr I ever knew. But no. There's no-Hey, is that Justin Bieber?_

_Percy: ..._

_Annabeth: Oh my god, it IS him! HI JUSTIN! *Waves*_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p>"Oh, Luke." Thalia sighed. "He was something."<p>

I was stumped. I glanced up and saw another file on the computer screen. It was marked 'Clarisse La Rue Mess Ups' A grin spread on my face.

"Well, why don't we try looking at Clarisse's bloopers?"

Thalia shook her head. "No we are NOT..." She paused for a minute. "Well, it couldn't hurt..."

_Click._

* * *

><p><span>The Lightning Thief<span>

_Annabeth: Clarisse, why don't you go polish your spear or something?_

_Clarisse:_ _Sure, Miss Princess. So I can run through it with you Friday night._

_Annabeth: ..._

_Clarisse: Can we try that again?_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters<span>

_Polyphemus: What satyr? Satyrs are good eating. You bring me satyr?_

_Clarisse: No, you big idiot! THAT satyr! The one in the...*Giggle* wedding dress...*Bursts out laughing*_

_Grover: Oh shut it, Clarisse! I'd like to see YOU wear pantyhose!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Titans Curse<span>

_Percy: I have to go. I need to be on this quest._

_Zoe: Why? Because of thy friend, Annabeth?_

_Clarisse: *Coughs loudly* _

_*Everyone looks at her*_

_Clarisse: What?_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth<span>

_Grover: Great idea! I'll go get the dynamite!_

_Clarisse: It's not that easy, stupid. We tried that at the last entrance in fnwpejbxprjbvpgbvj._

_Grover: What?_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Last Olympian<span>

_Percy: So what-You're just gonna let Kronos crush us?_

_Clarisse: If you want my help so bad, tell Apollo to give us back our chariot...I mean THE chariot._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p>"Who's bloopers should we look through next?" I asked Thalia.<p>

She tapped her chin. "Well...what about the gods and goddesses?"

I grinned. "This should be funny."

_Click._

* * *

><p><strong>I'm baaaaaaaaack. MWAHAHAHAHAAH! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!<strong>

**Rain~***


	5. The Gods, Oh Gods

_Click._

* * *

><p><span>The Lightning Thief<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Zeus:<strong>

_Percy: Father._

_Zeus: Should you not address your master first? Wait..._

_Director: CUT!_

_**Poseidon:**_

_Poseidon: Perseus—WHOA! *Falls out of chair*_

_Zeus: *Laughs*_

_Percy: Yes?_

_Director: CUT!_

_**Ares:**_

_Percy: A cockroach? Or a tapeworm. Yeah, I'm sure . That'd save you from getting your godly hide whipped, wouldn't it?_

_Ares: Oh man, you are really asking to be smashed into a... _

_*Sunglasses catch on fire* _

_Ares: OH MY GOD! MY FACE IS ON FIRE! HELP! HELP!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Dionysus:<strong>

_Percy: Your camp has problems already...sir._

_Dionysus: Oh, go sit down, Jackson. WAIT! I MEAN JOHNSON!_

_Director: CUT!_

**Hermes:**

_Percy: You're Luke's father. Hermes._

_Hermes: 'Luke's father.' Normally, that's not the first way people introduce me. God of thieves, yes. God of...um...Beautifulness? Is that it?_

_Percy: No, that's Aphrodite._

_Director: CUT!_

**Chiron: (I know he's not really a god...but...)**

_Percy: Chiron, you saved us._

_Chiron: Well, now I couldn't very well let you die, especially since you've cleared_**-**

_*Milkshake by Kelis starts playing*_

_Percy: Who's phone is that?_

_Chiron: *Blushes* Uh...I'll be back. *Runs away*_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Titan's Curse<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Aretmis:<strong>

_Percy: Do what?_

_Artemis: Heroes! The Council has been informed of your deeds. They know Mount Othrys is rising in the west...and um...well...men are jerks and um...Line?_

_Director: CUT!_

**Apollo:**

_Apollo: I gotta say, these kids did well. I shall now recite a poem! HEROES EAT LAURELS - Wait...EAT laurels? What the...?_

_Director: CUT!_

**Aphrodite:**

_Percy: That's really okay. Don't go through any trouble._

_Aphrodite: You're so cute. I wish all of my daughters could break the heart of a boy as nice as - Pluh! Swallowed some lipstick. Ew._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Hephaestus:<strong>

_Percy: Hephaestus, what's going on? Is Annabeth -_

_Hephaestus: She's fine. Resourceful one, that one. Found her way back and - AAAAAHHHH! MY BEARD! IT'S ON FIRE!_

_Percy: Um...it's SUPPOSED to be on fire..._

_Hephaestus: Oh..._

_Director: CUT!_

**Pan:**

_Percy: You have a humming dodo bird._

_Pan: Yes. That's Dede, my little-_

_Dede: *Pokes Pan in the head*_

_Pan: OUCH! BAD DEDE! BAD!_

_*Dede flies all over the place*_

_Pan: Can I get some help?_

_Director: CUT!_

**Hera:**

_Hera: You have nothing to apologize for dear._

_Annabeth: Hera._

_Hera: You found the answers as I knew you would. The journey to the Battle of the Labyrinth was a success._

_*Annabeth and Percy stare at her*_

_Hera: *Sigh* Let's redo it. Before the sun goes down._

_Apollo: Did somebody say...SUN?_

_*I'm Walking on Sunshine starts playing*_

_Percy: *Faceplam*_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Last Olympian<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Hades:<strong>

_Percy: I'm fine...I think._

_Nico: Do you feel stronger?_

_Hades: THERE! You will not escape me this time, Perry Jackson. DESTROY HIM!_

_Nico: *Tries not to laugh*_

_Hades: What?_

_Percy: My name is Percy. Not Perry._

_Hades: *Sighs* I'm turning into Dionysus._

_Director: CUT!_

**Demeter:**

_Hades: DEMETER! That is enough. You are a guest in my house._

_Demeter: Oh a house, is it? You call this dump a house? Geez. You could use some decorating! It is TOO depressing in here. Maybe if you used some pink -_

_Percy: Er Demeter?_

_Demeter: Yes? _

_Nico: That's not your line._

_Director: CUT!_

**Athena:**

_Athena: You, my daughter, have exceeded all expectations. You have used your wits, your strength, and your courage to defend this city, and our seat of power. It has come to our attention that Olympus is . . . well, trashed. The Titan lord did much damage that will have to be repaired. We could rebuild it by magic, of course, and make it just as it was. But the gods feel that the city could be improved. We will take this as an opportunity. And you, my daughter, will design these modifications..._

_Annabeth: Improvements._

_Athena: DARN IT! I WAS SO CLOSE!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p>Thalia grinned. "Mess-ups are funny. But don't you just hate it when other people mess up. Like extras and stuff like that?"<p>

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess those ARE pretty annoying, but, hey, we all make mistakes."

There was a small silence. Thalia suddenly got a mischievous grin. "You wanna watch some?"

I must've looked confused because she said, "Percy, we've got Extra Mess-ups too, you know."

I grinned a little, "Well, if you insist."

_Click._

* * *

><p><strong>I HAVE RETURNED! NOW REVIEW OR I WILL HAUNT YOU WITH...Um...SPIDERS! YES! SPIDERS!<strong>

***A Scream from the Background* NOT THE SPIDERS!**

**Me: Yes, Annabeth. The spiders. NOW REVIEW!**

**Percy: What if we're not afraid of spiders?**

**Me: *Sigh* Well, then I'll have to hurt you. NOW REVIEW!**

**Luke: *Points a sword to my throat* What if I hurt you first?**

**Me: *Pulls out Muffin Bazooka* Yeah...that's not gonna happen.**

**Luke: *Lowers sword* Really?**

**Me: *Snatches sword* HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! I SHALL RULE THE WORLD! NOW REVIEW!**

**Zeus: *Poofs in* But - But _I_ rule the world.**

**Me: -_- Just review.**

**Rain~*  
><strong>


	6. Extras Time!

_Click._

* * *

><p><span>The Lightning Thief<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Gabe:<strong>

_Sally: I was on my way home, honey. We were just talking about the trip._

_Gabe: The trip? We never discussed a trip!_

_Sally: ..._

_Gabe: WHAT IS IT?_

_Percy: HEY! Don't talk to my mom like that, you smelly...PERSON!_

_Gabe: Um...?_

_Sally: You messed up your line, Gabe._

_Gabe: Oooooh._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Matt Sloan:<strong>

_Percy: Take it back, Sloan!_

_Matt Sloan: Why do you even bother, Jackson? You might have FRIENDS if you didn't stick up for-_

_*Firetruck siren's go off*_

_Matt Sloan: What the frick was that?_

_Percy: Your mom! What now, Sloan? I am the master of comebacks! BASK IN MY GLORY!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Titan's Curse<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Mr. Chase:<strong>

_Percy: Nectar and ambrosia! Come on we have to get her some!_

_*Buzzing Noise*_

_Mr. Chase: Get away from my daughter!_

_Annabeth: Dad?_

_*Starts firing bullets, but they stop suddenly*_

_Mr. Chase: DARN YOU, GUN MAKING FACTORIES! That's right! TAKE THAT!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Rachel:<strong>

_Rachel: Hey, Percy. Good timing! Let's get some coffee._

_*At the Java Moose on West 43rd Street*_

_*Percy and Annabeth stare at each other*_

_Annabeth: ..._

_Percy: ..._

_Annabeth: Go._

_Percy: What?_

_Annabeth: It's your line!_

_Percy: No, it's yours!_

_Annabeth: No!_

_Percy: Yes!_

_Director: Actually it's Rachel's line._

_*Percy and Annabeth turn to look at Rachel*_

_Rachel: *Is twirling her straw in her drink, but then looks up* Huh? Oh! Sorry._

_Annabeth: *Sarcastically* Sure, you are._

_Rachel: No, I really am!_

_Percy: *Sarcastically* Right. We totally believe you, Rachel._

_Rachel: No, but I -_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Last Olympian<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Paul:<strong>

_Percy: Paul?_

_Paul: I hope that was a monster I just killed. I was a Shakespearean actor in - *Tries to twirl sword, but fails epically and drops it* _

_Percy: I'm guessing you weren't a baton twirler in college._

_Paul: Can we try that again?_

_Director: CUT!_

Thalia searched through some more files. "Hmm...I wonder if they have any more...OH! Here's an interesting one. It's called 'Monster Mess Ups.'" She looked at me. "Wanna watch it?"

I sighed. "I don't have much of a choice do I?"

Thalia shook her head. "Nope."

_Click._

* * *

><p><strong>Not my best chapter but...I sort of ran out of ideas. If anyone can give me some for the monsters that would be nice. I really want to hear what you guys have to say ;) Thanks!<strong>

**Rain~***


	7. Monsters

The Lightning Thief Monsters:

* * *

><p><strong>Minotaur:<strong>

_Percy: Hey, stupid! Ground beef!_

_Minotaur: Raaaaawr!_

_*All of a sudden, the Minotaur's underwear falls off...*_

_Percy: GAAAAAAHHH! I'M BLIND! *Runs off set*_

_Minotaur: Uuuh... *Blushes* Oops?_

_Director: *Covering eyes* CUT!_

**Medusa:**

_Grover: Duck! I'll get her!_

_THWACK!_

_Medusa: ARRRGH! MY NOSE! THE BLASTED SAYTAR GOT MY NOSE!_

_Grover: *Sheepishly* Sorry. I-_

_Medusa: SORRY? What? You think beauty like this *Gestures to hideous, warty face* Grows on trees?_

_Grover: ..._

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters ... Monsters:<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Charybdis:<strong>

_Percy: *Tries to control the water by concentrating*_

_Charybdis: RAWR! _

_Percy: *Still trying* _

_Charybdis: *Sucks in water, but then coughs and gags* ACK! Gross! I think I swallowed a shark. *Spits water out* Yuck...What is in this stuff now a days? OIL?_

_Percy along with everyone else: ..._

_Charybdis: Can I get a breath mint over here?_

_Director: *Facepalm* CUT!_

**Polyphemus:**

_Percy: TYSON!_

_Polyphemus: *Grabs tree and swings it around angrily* I'LL TEAR YOU TO PIECES, I'LL SQUISH YOU INTO A PERCY PANCAKE, AND I'LL- OUCHIES!_

_*Drops tree into ocean*_

_Tyson: What happened?_

_Polyphemus: *Sniffles* I got a splinter._

_Percy: ..._

_Director: *Sigh* Cut!_

* * *

><p><span>The Titan's Curse Monsters:<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Dr. ThornManticore:**

_Dr. Thorn: Aww. Not to worry little brats. You will be meeting my employer soon enough. Then you will have a brand-new family._

_Percy: Luke. You work for Luke._

_Dr. Thorn: You have no idea what's happening Perseus Jackson. I will let the General enlighten you. You are going to do him a great service tonight. He is looking forward to-*Gags a little*_

_Percy, Bianca, and Nico: ?_

_Dr. Thorn: Sorry. I'm part lion, and things get lodged into my throat and I have to-_

_Director: *Puts his hand on his head* Cut!_

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth Monsters:<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Kelli and Tammi Empousi:**

_Percy: Get back._

_Tammi: Freshman. This is our school, half-blood. We feed on whom we choose._

_*Tammi turns white and she changes*_

_Percy: A vampi-*Gags a little* A vampire...okay, guys. *Plugs nose* You didn't have to make her smell bad, you just had to make her look bad._

_Tammi and Kelli: HEY!_

_Director: CUT!_

**Geryon the Three-Bodied Man:**

_Nico: That's none of your business Percy! *Turns to Geryon* And what do you mean about things getting difficult. _

_Geryon: Well, you see, Nico-can I call you Nico?_

_Nico: No._

_Geryon: You see, Nico-can I call you Nico?_

_Nico: ...You already asked me that..._

_Geryon: ...No, I didn't._

_Nico: ...Yes, you did._

_Geryon: No, I didn't._

_Nico: Yes, you did._

_Geryon: No, I didn't._

_Nico: Yes, you-_

_Geryon: *Points sword at throat* DO NOT TELL LIES, GHOST CHILD!_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Last Olympian Monsters:<span>

* * *

><p><strong>Prometheus:<strong>

_Prometheus: If you change your mind, I have a gift for you. _

_*Holds out Pandora's Pithos/Box*_

_Thalia: *Gasp* That's not-_

_Prometheus: Yes. You recognize it?_

_Percy: *Stares at box.*_

_Prometheus: ..._

_Percy: ..._

_Thalia: ..._

_Grover: *Whimper*_

_Percy: Uuuh...it's your line, Prometheus._

_Director: CUT!_

_Prometheus: Wait! What happened?_

_Director: *Sighs angrily* I have no idea._

**Minotaur:**

_Minotaur: RAWR!_

_Percy: Hey Beef Boy! Didn't I kill you already?_

_Minotaur: *Pounds fist into a Lexus car, but his pants fall down*_

_Percy: GAAAAAAAHHH! SCARRED AGAIN! *Looks away*_

_Minotaur: Oops..._

_Director: Aw, again? Someone get the Minotaur a belt. Please._

_Minotaur: Sorry, guys. _

_Director: *Shakes his head*_

_Minotaur: No really. I'll tap dance to prove it. *Begins to tap dance*_

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p>Thalia sighed, leaning back in her chair, "So...now what?"<p>

I took a closer look at the screen, "Are there any other mess ups?"

Thalia shook her head, "There's none that I can-" Suddenly, her head shot up, "OOOH! I've got an idea."

She began to scroll down, until her mouse finally highlighted a certain folder. Thalia smiled devilishly.

I put my head in my hands. "My _mom_? You're really going to make me watch_ my mom's_ mess ups?"

Thalia nodded, "And we're also going to watch Travis and Conner's mess ups too...but first..."

Grinning, she clicked the folder marked '_Sally Jackson.'_

"This is going to be interesting."

_Click._

* * *

><p><strong>Hey, guys! Wow...it's really been two months...? I APOLOGIZE! I'M SO, SO, SORRY! Gosh. I feel terrible now...I should be nominated the worst human being alive. You know what? I'm going to start updating A LOT more often now. It should be easy since school is ending. :)<strong>

**Anyway, can I get a review please?**

**Rain~***


	8. Sally and The Stolls

The Lightning Thief

_Sally: *Talking about Poseidon* He was kind, Percy. Tall, handsome, and powerful. But gentle, too. *Dreamily* He was brave...dazzling...amazing...charming...funny...witty...relaxed...fascinating...Wait, who am I talking about again?_

_Percy: ...Poseidon...  
><em>

_Sally: ...Right. I was, uh, totally talking about him...  
><em>

_Percy: Wait...  
><em>

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters<span>

_Percy: Wait a minute. I thought we were packing me up for camp tonight._

_Sally: Ah, dear, about that...*Twists her wet dishrag nervously and accidentally makes water pour out of it and onto the ground*  
><em>

_Percy: O.o  
><em>

_Sally: Um...should I keep going or...?  
><em>

_Director: *In the background* Okay, next time we're going with the dry dishrag!  
><em>

_Sally: Yeah...it's kind of...seeping through my socks right now.  
><em>

_*People start talking in the background*  
><em>

_Sally: We should really get a mop or...  
><em>

_Director: CUT!  
><em>

* * *

><p><span>The Titan's Curse<span>

_*In the car with Thalia, Annabeth, and Percy, taking them to Westover Hall*_

_Sally: Are you sure you don't want me to wait?  
><em>

_Percy: No, Mom. We don't know how long—  
><em>

_Sally: Percy! Just because you're a demigod doesn't mean you have the right to just go around ignoring your mother like that!  
><em>

_Percy: Uh...  
><em>

_Sally: I'M IMPORTANT, TOO! THERE'S NO DENYING THAT! I MEAN, I'M YOUR MOTHER!  
><em>

_Percy: ...  
><em>

_Sally: I DEMAND A HUG, MISTER! MOVE IT!  
><em>

_Percy: S-sorry. Sorry. *Hugs awkwardly*  
><em>

_Director: CUT!  
><em>

_Sally: To rough?  
><em>

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth<span>

_Sally: Think positive. Tomorrow you're off to Camp! After orientation, you've got your date—  
><em>

_Percy: It's not a date! It's just Annabeth, Mom. Jeez!  
><em>

_Sally: But she's coming all the way from Camp to see you.  
><em>

_Percy: Well, yeah.  
><em>

_Sally: You're going to the movies.  
><em>

_Percy: Yeah.  
><em>

_Sally: Just the two of you.  
><em>

_Percy: Mom!  
><em>

_Sally: Alone.  
><em>

_Percy: But—  
><em>

_Sally: Together...  
><em>

_Percy: What are you—?  
><em>

_Sally: Without adult supervision...  
><em>

_Percy: Um...  
><em>

_Sally: In a movie theater...  
><em>

_Percy: Mom, where are you going with this?  
><em>

_Sally: In the dark...  
><em>

_Percy: ...  
><em>

_Sally: You know, maybe I should go with you just in case—  
><em>

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Last Olympian<span>_  
><em>

_Sally: *Yelling at the security guy in the Empire State Building* I'm telling you, we have to go up! My son—*Sees Percy* PERCY! *Hugs*_

_Percy: Oof!  
><em>

_Sally: *Still hugging him* We saw the building light up blue, but you didn't come down. *Tries to pull away* You went up—You went up—Okay, guys my earring is stuck.  
><em>

_*Laughter in the background*  
><em>

_Percy: We're not gonna have to cut her ear off, are we?  
><em>

_Sally: Can I get some help?  
><em>

_Paul: *Awkwardly says his next line* ...She was getting a bit anxious?  
><em>

_Sally: Not now, Paul!  
><em>

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p>Thalia sat back in her fancy, leather, and clearly expensive chair and sighed, "You have an awesome mom, Percy."<em><br>_

"Thanks." I grumbled.

Thalia lets out a snort, "It doesn't help to pout, Percy."

I look at a reflection in one of the screens and realize I was indeed pouting. I wasn't even aware of it...weird. I shoot Thalia a glare and deny it anyway, "I _am not_ pouting."

She smirks, "Whatever floats you boat, Percy."

I cross my arms over my chest and huff, "Can we just watch another blooper, _please._"

Thalia raises an eyebrow, "I thought you said these bloopers were creepy?"

I shake my head, "No, I said that the fact that you took the time to _make_ a collection of the bloopers was creepy."

She sighs, "Let's just watch some more bloopers."

"Wait, who are we watching?"

_Click._

* * *

><p><span>The Lightning Thief<span>

Travis:

_Annabeth: Percy Jackson, meet cabin eleven._

_Travis: *From the back* Regular or underrated?  
><em>

_Percy: ...  
><em>

_Annabeth: Travis. You had one line. ONE. LINE! IN THE ENTIRE FREAKIN' BOOK!  
><em>

_Travis: What did I do?  
><em>

_Conner: Travis, the line was, Regular or undetermined?  
><em>

_Travis: ...I knew that.  
><em>

_Director: Cut!_

* * *

><p><span>The Sea of Monsters<span>_  
><em>

Connor:

_*Connor fighting Clarisse in the second chariot race*_

_Clarisse: *Slashes at Connor*  
><em>

_Connor: GAAH! *Flies out of chariot*  
><em>

_Clarisse: *Still on her chariot and says smugly* Oops. *Starts to sharpen her javelin*  
><em>

_Director: *Sighs* Not that hard Clarisse. We aren't trying to hurt each other.  
><em>

_Clarisse: *Smugly* I can't help who I am.  
><em>

_Connor: *From background* Help...?  
><em>

_Director: CUT!  
><em>

* * *

><p><span>The Titan's Curse<span>_  
><em>

Travis: 

_Zoe: I shall go, of course, and I will take Phoebe. She's our best tracker._

_Travis: The big girl who likes to hit people?  
><em>

_Everyone: ...  
><em>

_Travis: What...? OH! I meant...uh...what exactly did I mean?  
><em>

_Director: *Sigh* The line is: The big girl who likes to hit people on the head?  
><em>

_Travis: ...It is?  
><em>

_Everyone at the table: *Groans*_

_Director: Someone have Travis study his lines!  
><em>

_Annabeth: Unbelievable. One line. ONE! LINE!  
><em>

_Travis: I know. I am pretty unbelievable, aren't I? I mean, with these good looks, and this charm—  
><em>

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>Connor: <span>_  
><em>

_Chiron: I have several ideas, none of them good. And none of them quite make sense. Typhon, for instance, could fit the description. He was truly a bane of Olympus. Or the sea monster Keto. But if either of those were stirring, we would know it. They are ocean monsters the size of skyscrapers. Your father, Poseidon would already have sounded the alarm. I fear this monster may be more elusive. Perhaps even more powerful._

_Connor: *Snores loudly*  
><em>

_Everyone at the table: CONNOR!  
><em>

_Connor: *Wakes up* What? WHAT HAPPENED?  
><em>

_Annabeth: *Groans* And that was going to be such a good take, too...  
><em>

_Director: CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>The Battle of the Labyrinth<span>_  
><em>

Travis:

_Clarisse: *Shakes her head* I'm not going back in there._

_Travis: HAHAHAHAHA! Clarisse you're such a baby! It's a stupid maze how bad can it be?  
><em>

_Clarisse: *Face turns red* STOLL!  
><em>

_Travis: Stole what?  
><em>

_Director: Uh, Travis, I think you went a little over board with the laughing and the insults and—  
><em>

_Clarisse: DIE, TRAVIS STOLL, DIE! *Draws sword*  
><em>

_Travis: *Yelps* AAAHH!  
><em>

_Director: *Sighs* CUT!_

* * *

><p><span>Connor:<span>

_*Connor and Travis hot-wiring the camp's SUV*_

_Narrator: As I made my way through camp, I said hi to some of my friends. In the Big House's driveway Connor and Travis were hot-wiring the camp's SUV. Silena Beauregard, the head counselor for Aphrodite-  
><em>

_*The SUV explodes* BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!  
><em>

_Travis: *From Background* CONNOR! I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE THE FANCY GOLD CHAINSAW THAT SAID 'DO NOT USE' ON IT!_

_Director: *Sigh* Someone order a new SUV and then let's restart the scene..._

_*Connor and Travis in the background arguing*  
><em>

_Travis: IT WAS YOUR IDEA, YOU !  
><em>

_Connor: AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON KATIE!  
><em>

_Travis: *Exaggerated gasp* I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON—  
><em>

_Connor: Don't even try to deny it, Travis...  
><em>

_Director: CUT!  
><em>

* * *

><p><span>The Last Olympian<span>

Travis:

_Will: There's a Duane Reade on Fifth. Normally I would never steal—_

_Travis: I would!  
><em>

_Will: *Glares* Leave cash or drachmas, whatever you've got, but this is an emergency. I've got a feeling we're going to have a lot more people to treat.  
><em>

_Travis: Come one, guys. Let's give Annabeth some space. We've got a drugstore to raid.  
><em>

_Everyone: ...  
><em>

_Travis: What? We are raiding it.  
><em>

_Will: *Sigh* Back in positions everyone.  
><em>

_Travis: Okay, okay, I'll do it right this time...  
><em>

_Director: CUT!  
><em>

* * *

><p><span>Connor:<span>

_*Annabeth looking through the magic video shield*_

_Connor: Whoa! Back up! Zoom in right there.  
><em>

_Annabeth: What? You see invaders?  
><em>

_Connor: No, right there—Dylan's Candy Bar.  
><em>

_*Grins at Travis*  
><em>

_Connor: Dude, it's open. And everyone's asleep. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?  
><em>

_Katie: Connor! This is serious. You are not going to loot a candy store in the middle of a war.  
><em>

_Connor: Uh...*Turns to Travis and smacks him on the head* Yeah! What are you thinking Travis?  
><em>

_Travis: Hey!  
><em>

_Director: *Sigh* CUT!  
><em>

* * *

><p>Thalia grinned at the screen as the image of Connor faded. Travis and Connor were always forgetting their lines, or getting beaten up by Clarisse, or falling out of things...or planning to steal things...or—you get the point.<p>

"So," I began, "Is that the last of the bloopers?"

Thalia grins slyly at me, "Well...I _do_ have this one file."

She rolls the mouse over a file that reads, 'Things That Happened, Even Though They Weren't Supposed To'

_Click._

* * *

><p><strong>Well...I think it's official. I am a horrible updater person...thing. Anyway, doing Travis and Connor is actually harder than it seems. They didn't have many lines in the first 3 books, so...yeah. I had to improvise, as you can see. <strong>**  
><strong>

**But...will you still review? For me? ^-^  
><strong>

**Rain~*  
><strong>


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